Thursday, July 23, 2009

Behind the Scenes of a Scene

So much of my feedback is from women interested in gaining insight into the lifestyle from the perspective of a top. I thought I'd do so again.

Just confirmed my next playdate with Erica. It's in about two weeks. We'll be meeting up for dinner--her, J and my wife and I--before going off to the Lair for our independent sessions. For me, the planning begins almost immediately. "What planning?" you say. Well, as I've said before, I liken a scene to a symphony. The Brandenburg Concerto #9 in D-minor (it's real, look it up!) wasn't created overnight. Neither is a scene (for me, anyway).

I begin thinking about my last scene with my upcoming play partner. What implements did I use? What was the arc of the scene? Was it talky? Fun? Intense? DId we have any problems or issues that need to be considered? You don't want to listen to (or play!) the same symphony over and over, after all.

I begin to plan new implements, a new arc. I work out the general structure, but I leave the mood and tone of the scene loose. Why? Because a few days before we play, I check in with my play partner: what does she need out of the scene? what catharsis might she be looking for? what intensity does she want or need? Occasionally (often, actually!) the bottom doesn't really have anything specific in mind, but I don't want to "lock in" to a scene plan until I know the answers to these questions. If there is a desire or goal for the scene from the bottom, I start to work out the mood, emotion, intensity. If there's no needs or issues brought up by the bottom then I start to think about how the scene will be tonally different from the previous one. If the last was fun and light, perhaps something darker and more intense? Were there a lot of emotions? Keep the scene fun.

Of course, this is not scripted. There's nothing rote about it. I consider the plan more a guide than a directive. I always improvise. If I planned on using an implement and the bottom isn't liking it this scene, skip it and move on. Anything I say is always, always what I'm feeling at the moment. And there's plenty of room for changing directions and seeing where the mood takes us.

As we get closer to our scene, I'll talk a little bit about how the plan unfolds, then share with you how it all worked out afterwards.

Hope this helps lend some perspective into, at the very least, my process--whatever it is.


  1. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love playing with this man. :-)

    I enjoy hearing about a top's process. And I'm loving this "he said/she said" thing we have going on, regarding our scenes and blogging about them. Fun!

  2. Glad you like it. Like Lucky, the Lucky Charms leprechaun says, "I like it, too!"

    Thanks for the nice note.


  3. This is totally fascinating! I love the musical reference. I used one awhile ago in a post called Rondo with Belt, but that as not as complicated as a concerto. Can't wait to read more.


  4. Wasn't that the Irish Spring soap lady who said "manly, yes, and I like it too"?

  5. Ah! You're good! Funny: I heard the Irish lilt, just had the wrong commercial reference. Linked to your blog, BTW.

  6. Thanks for linking. You're already on mine.

    That's the other thing I have in common with Erica - attention to detail! (I can hear the voice too!)