Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Role of Role Playing + a Non-Kink Topic

As Boardwalk Badness rapidly approaches and conversations are flying about play dates, sessions, scenes and the like, the subject that comes up most frequently in the spanking world is role playing. Help me out, people. I don't get it. Never have. I can get "angry" and toppy and ominous and all that. I don't consider that role playing. It's when I hear about teacher/student, doctor/nurse (or patient), dad/child (ew!) and every other permutation that gets me feeling all squicky. It just doesn't feel natural to me. In fact, it feels extraordinarily contrived. Further, any notion of a grown woman acting like a student, child, altar boy--whatever--just makes me feel squickier. (And thanks to Jada for helping me remember is "squicky" and not "squingy.")

As I always say, you do your thing, I'm not going to judge. I'm just telling you how I feel about it. So, to manage some expectations as well, I won't be doing it. Again, happy to get all toppy and dour and threatening, but no:

  • Priest
  • Utility Foreman
  • Census Taker
  • Guidance Counselor
  • Personal Injury Attorney
  • Spanish Inquisitor (well, maybe that one is okay)
  • Political Action Committee Signature Taker
  • Pool Boy
  • Golf Pro
  • Masseuse (is there a male/female for that?)
  • Cop
  • Proctologist
  • Gynecologist (though my tailor tells me I have long arms)
  • Singaporean Government Official
  • Body Guard
Okay. Got that off my chest. Good.

Now onto one other topic:

As you all know I travel extensively for my job. I am going to have to go to London the week before Atlantic City, so I'll be flying into Philly and meeting my wife at the airport to get into AC Thursday evening. I hope I won't be all jet laggy. I started thinking about the logistics of this. I can't take my AC clothes and implements me to London and then onto AC. Heathrow, since the whole shoe bomber thing, is practically on Standard Operating Procedure for rectal exams, let alone the whole (in a British accent), "Explain again what 'vampire gloves' are supposed to be?" So I'll be shipping my gear and weekend clothes ahead to the hotel. The things we do for play, eh?

See you in Atlantic City!


  1. You mean you won't spank me for not filling out my census form and sending it back in?

  2. Damn, I've always wanted to spank a PAC signature taker!

  3. Uh, no, darling. That's not quite how that would work. Try this:

    CUT TO:


    WOMAN: Coooming!

    She answers the door.

    WOMAN: Yes?

    PAC SIGNATURE TAKER: I'm here to ask for your support. Did you know Kraft is trying to open a new processed cheese plant in your neighborhood?


    PAC SIGNATURE TAKER: Can I count on your support to bring jobs and tax revenue to your county?

    WOMAN: I dunno. What's in it for me?

    PAC SIGNATURE TAKER: (raising eyebrows) 'In it for me? In it for me?' Listen, if all women were like you, no one would get anything built in your community.

    WOMAN: My, those are strong arms. Perhaps arms like those could spank some sense into a girl like me.

    She blinks innocently at him.

    PAC SIGNATURE TAKER: Perhaps I should come in.

    You can imagine what happens next. Point made.

  4. (snickering) For someone not into roleplay, you have it down pretty well, hon.

    You know I'm with you on this subject--contrived, contrived, contrived. And what's wrong with squingy? I like it. It's just as descriptive as squicky (and just as made-up).

    Oh, and since you asked -- yes, a male masseuse is a masseur. Just trying to be helpful.

  5. Thanks, Erica. I knew you'd solve that sexual language conundrum. Of course.

    (Fucking know-it-all).

  6. Toppy, dour and threatening work just fine! See you in AC!


  7. Dear 'squinged' out Spanish Inquisitor...

    I have a question.
    When you wear those 'vampire gloves'.. will you be biting my neck too ... or just bring the blood to the surface in other manners??

    (late to the party ..... "again")

  8. Yeah, Zelle. No kidding.

    I can draw blood any way you'd like...


  9. Not only are you the Inquisitor General.. your accommodatin' too.. what more could a gal ask for? (leniency perhaps??) LOL

  10. Leniency? Uh...I don't think so.


  11. Craig on this question of role playing in any spanking scene,, I beg to differ with you. I BELIEVE in ROLE PLAYING. Very much so. If some 'spankos' get their kicks, giving some other 'spankos, their licks, so be it.