The book delves into a wide variety of relationship types ranging from the D/s, master/slave, to traditional swinging, polyamory, nonmonogomy and a variety of interesting and unusual permutations.
In reading through this book I came across a fascinating section on how we feel when we enter into new relationships:
“When you meet someone you like, when your crush is reciprocated, when you first pursue a relationship, you’re blissed out. You can’t get your mind off him. You’re anxious until the next time you see her. You’re completely focused on the two of you-it’s easy to shut out the rest of the world. When you’re together, you can’t keep your hands off each other.
Research has shown that many of these feelings and behaviors stem from chemical changes in your brain. When you first feel attraction, begin a relationship, and fall in love, levels of dopamine and norepinephrine (natural stimulants) increase in the limbic system; in addition, activity increases in the parts of your brain involved in arousal and pleasure.
When you bundle together the physical (chemical changes in your body) and the emotional and psychological (intense feelings and thoughts), you’ve got what some people call new relationship energy (often referred to as NRE)."
The term is more commonly known as limerence. Limerence is defined by "The New Oxford American Dictionary" as the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically involuntarily, and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.
There it was, right on the page. A definition I’d been looking for, a word I could never find because I didn’t knew it even existed. Limerence. How many of us have experience limerence in our kink relationships? Or NRE? What have your experiences been like? Good or bad? Is it a “drug” to you that you want to have again and again? Or does it just happen (the word “involuntarily” is used in the definition, isn’t it?).