Saturday, November 27, 2010
Some people, in their vanilla lives or in the lifestyle--it doesn't matter, come at life wearing emotional armor. Whether with friends or in play they approach these people and experiences with a standoffish approach. Perhaps they had a rug pulled out from under them at some point. Likely they did, otherwise why take this untrusting approach?
Some people play for the sake of play. Don't get me wrong, that's fun. But I look for an emotional connection of some kind. I think it adds to the dynamic, the energy of the scene. Further, I work my ass off on the job and focus on my family, so to be perfectly honest, I don't really have any friends outside of work--I just don't have time!--so the bonus of being in the lifestyle I've discovered (and talked about in the past) is that I've made some wonderful friends and established some great relationships.
But there are those who believe that the only way to play is to be impartial, detached, removed. (My hunch is these folks are more in the BDSM scene than the spanko, but my observations could very well be incorrect on that point.) They feel that to "protect themselves" from putting themselves in a position of emotional vulnerability they need to wear this armor to avoid those connections.
To each their own. But to me, no armor. Bring on the connections, the dynamic. I amemotionally vulnerable. Eyes wide open. I'm aware it can could put me in a position of beingtoo open. But I prefer it to a stoic and unemotional detachment.