Thursday, December 23, 2010

Parcel Panic

In the past I've told funny/scary tales of "dodging a bullet" with regard to accidentally coming out to friends, family or co-workers. You can read the accounts here and here, for example. This is one of those accounts.

In rearranging some of my implements with switch wife Gia recently, one of my fave short slapper crops ended up being absconded by her into her stash, so I needed a new one. Before it slipped my mind, I went onto the JT Stockroom site and ordered a new one over the weekend once I got back from London.

Jump ahead a few days...

My eldest daughter is home from college and wanting to help out with Christmas offered to wrap gifts. As I was out of the country for the first two weeks of December I did a lot of my shopping online and boxes have been slowly trickling in from Amazon, Zappos, ThinkGeek and Threadless. So when my daughter texted me to say another box arrived in the mail, I told her to just go ahead and open it, it wouldn't be anything for her so she couldn't spoil the surprise.

Thinking nothing further about it, I went about my business...

I got home, walking into my bedroom, and saw wrapping paper, scissors, gift boxes and shopping bags everywhere. Clearly my daughter was hard at work helping wrap gifts. There, on the floor, was a brown cardboard box, unopened. I went over to it and curiously picked it up, looking at the label. To: Craig. From: JTS. JTS? Who's that? Suddenly, in a sickening wave, it came to me: JT Stockroom! It's the slapper crop! Holy shit! My daughter was about to open the box to helpfully wrap the contents!

Quickly I secreted the box in my closet amongst other "hidden" items, sweating the fact I'd once again narrowly dodged a bullet.


  1. You had a guardian angel watching over you that day. If you had been five minutes later arriving... shudder!

    Happy holidays to you and Gia.


  2. Thanks, Hermione!

    Same to you and yours!

  3. Oh my GOD, Craig! I can't even begin to imagine how you would have gotten yourself out of that one!

  4. As parents of in college and one in high school, I just shudder! Wow! That was close! Now...if we could just get them out of the house for a few hours....*grin*


  5. I hear you, Sass. Too many close calls. Part of me thinks I want to get this worked out and in the open...


  6. I won't tell you what I found in my parents closet recently while looking for a gift my father had hidden for my mother...suffice it to say you saved your daughter a lot of mental pain and imagery. ;)

    Also, ThinkGeek is most excellent.

  7. Wow. Do I even want to know, A'marie!!!

  8. Hahaha! I can see it now:
    "Oh, uh..." *sputter* "That's for, uh...uh... someone you don't know...."

  9. "Disciplining the dog"???

    Welcome, Sexperts. Thanks for commenting!