Sunday, January 30, 2011
In Pursuit of Pain
In talking with my play pal Beth recently about an upcoming scene we're planning in a few weeks, we got onto a discussion about being pushed in a scene--trying to beyond the comfort zone (which, in the grand scheme of our kink is a bit of an oxymoron, eh?). After a few minutes of back and forth she said to me, "I'm scared." I replied, "Good."
But it got me thinking--what a crazy dichotomy all this is. A bottom wants the pain, but a part of him/her doesn't. They want to be pushed, but a part of them screams out, "Are you nuts? It's gonna fucking hurt!" And as a sadist with no predilection for pain (I'm a wuss!) I find this all very curious.
So what say you? Do you embrace your pain? Do you fear it even though you need/crave it? When you shoot to go farther in a scene, what does that do to your headspace? How do you grab it and take it? And what's it do to your head, mindfuckery and all?
I'm utterly fascinated by what goes on inside each of us when we play and do these weird things we're doing. Those of you who know me know I ask a lot of questions at times, trying to understand. Your answers can help illuminate this further, I hope.