Really, this post has fuck all to do with spanking and kink, but I thought it was a fun thing to share nonetheless...
- Papa Loved Mama by Garth Brooks (too long of an instrumental--bad for karaoke if you're white and can't dance
- Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks (too wide of an octave range)
- I'm a Believer (good rousing tune people can tap their foot to)
- Keep Feeling Fascination by Human League (oops--there's big girl's part in there)
- Don't Stand So Close to Me by Sting and/or The Police (apropos, plus bonus points because in the music video from the 80s Sting dresses like an English schoolteacher and waves around an old wicker rug beater--in the end, I couldn't "find" the melody for the chorus which is all harmony and no melody line--I even listened to the live version to try to find it)
- Rock n Roll High School by The Ramones (fun song, apropos, but no real chops necessary)
- Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears (too much false setto)
- Cruel to Be Kind by Nick Lowe (apropos, in my range and fun--but a long instrumental again, a bit repetitive and kinda monotonastic, if that's a word)
- What I Like About You by The Romantics (all repetition)
- Video Killed The Radio Star by the Buggles (long, lame, complicated)
At the party, it came time for me to do my number. I got up on stage, the iPod kicked in and the song began. I barely got through the very short first verse and into the even shorter chorus when judge Richard Windsor (playing the Simon Cowell role along with Miranda as a sedated Paula Abdul and Miss Chriss as a constantly "dawg"-ing Randy Jackson) began to make stinky faces. By the start of the second verse I was getting distracted by Richard/Simon making a move toward the gong (what fucked up American Idol-meets-The Gong Show this talent show was, I'll never know!) and I know I started to go a little flat.
I got gonged.
Richard/Simon felt, after last year's knock-it-out-of-the-park cover of The Killer's Human that my choice of bubble gum pop The Monkees (or Smashmouth as someone younger behind the judges shouted out) was too lame and beneath me.
It was all in good fun. A talent show needs a few gongs for entertainment value. I wasn't the best act, no doubt. In the end, it was a hoot and I look forward to belting out something more to Richard's/Simon's tastes next year... Perhaps Cee Lo's Fuck You?