Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Environmentally Friendly Kink

I was reading about a foot pump that recharges phones, laptops, iPads, etc. and I looked at the device and thought, That's more of a pedal than a pump. And suddenly it struck me: we should have environmentally friendly kink implements. Why not a paddle that stores energy from each strike that hooks up to a USB to top up your iPhone? How about a penis pump that both masturbates and lights up a flashlight? 

I want to be greener. I want to reduce my carbon footprint. And I also want to have lots and lots of orgasms and tons of spanking! I'm loving this idea! I'll launch a line of kink-friendly products called Planetary Satisfaction or Ecojaculation or Pain-Powered Technologies? I dunno. Maybe I'm just jetlagged...


  1. I can see the interchange now. "Honey, come over here for a spanking." "What, why?" "I need to charge my (Android) Phone..."

  2. Exactly! (Or iPhone, it's well established only boys who get lots of sex have Android phones...).

  3. I'm totally down with being environmentally friendly with kink. No more wooden implements! Leave the trees be!

    P.S. The fucking Captcha made me re-try 10 times to post this. Can they make the words readable for humans? Geez.

  4. Don't get me started with Captcha. If we weren't all doing a community service, I'd picket.