Thanks to the whole Romney/Obama debate and the revelation that the Republican candidate plans on cutting PBS and the following "Romney Wants to Shoot Big Bird!" headlines, Big Bird costume sales are up 500% according to reliable news sources.
The thing I love most about Halloween is what women decide to wear. It's not enough to be a nurse or a nun or a cop. Every costume has to have the word "slutty" in front of it. Slutty nun. Slutty cop. Slutty Darth Vader. So it should come as no surprise that there's a slutty Big Bird. Big Bird? Slutty? How so? Well, a quick internet search reveals the result:
The thing I love most about Halloween is what women decide to wear. It's not enough to be a nurse or a nun or a cop. Every costume has to have the word "slutty" in front of it. Slutty nun. Slutty cop. Slutty Darth Vader. So it should come as no surprise that there's a slutty Big Bird. Big Bird? Slutty? How so? Well, a quick internet search reveals the result:
Not bad. It's a bit of a stretch, but not bad. But as Google does, other search results are revealed. And that's where things get weird. Slutty Ernie and Bert? Really??? Not only is it a stretch that these nerdy lovers could ever aspire to be slutty, but girls???
Yet, here they are:
Now, regardless of how ridiculous these costumes may be, in each and every case all I want to do is take them over my knee and spank the fuck outta them. Perfect treat for Halloween, if you asked me.