Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Happy Halloween!

Thanks to the whole Romney/Obama debate and the revelation that the Republican candidate plans on cutting PBS and the following "Romney Wants to Shoot Big Bird!" headlines, Big Bird costume sales are up 500% according to reliable news sources.

The thing I love most about Halloween is what women decide to wear. It's not enough to be a nurse or a nun or a cop. Every costume has to have the word "slutty" in front of it. Slutty nun. Slutty cop. Slutty Darth Vader. So it should come as no surprise that there's a slutty Big Bird. Big Bird? Slutty? How so? Well, a quick internet search reveals the result:


Not bad. It's a bit of a stretch, but not bad. But as Google does, other search results are revealed. And that's where things get weird. Slutty Ernie and Bert? Really??? Not only is it a stretch that these nerdy lovers could ever aspire to be slutty, but girls???

Yet, here they are:


Now, regardless of how ridiculous these costumes may be, in each and every case all I want to do is take them over my knee and spank the fuck outta them. Perfect treat for Halloween, if you asked me.


7 comments:

  1. Ha. I was having a conversation with a guy recently who was complaining about Slut-o-ween. I said "Wait, you're a guy and complaining about women openly dressing slutty?" He said it's fine if it's a nurse or a schoolgirl but when it turns into things like "slutty pencil" it's just too ridiculous. Did you find a slutty pencil in the search? That I'd like to see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I looked. I found a "slutty pencil" but it was homemade and barely slutty and not very pencil-y. Wasn't worth sharing.

      As for your friend I would agree. It's cool to have chicks dress slutty, but not slutty-stupid.

      Delete
  2. Hmmm. I know what costume I'm getting for next Halloween... ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whichever one gets me over-the-knee and "spanked the fuck out of". ;)

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. My pleasure. Thanks for reading and commenting, Maryann Lovejoy!

      Delete