The gentleman who taught me much about how to top, how to behave in the lifestyle and helped me discover my own play style taught me a lot about scene etiquette, too. He taught me to check in with the person I played with, following up the scene with an email or call the day after. At the very least it was polite. At the most it might reveal some psychological concern or physical after-effect it would be prudent to know about and to work through.
I have never met a woman I've played with who didn't appreciate a "Checking In" email.
But, two days after another delightful night at the Lair over the weekend with Lizzie (and you can read all about it later this week on our joint side-by-side blog, Black & Blue), I realized something odd. I don't check in with her after a scene. Why? Because we live together. I "check in" with her constantly. We have pillow talk after the scene before falling asleep and in the morning the next day.
Often, when my kids aren't around, we trade sly smiles or relive a little moment from the scene as we recall them. Lizzie is very cuddly the day after, wanting to "crawl into me" as she puts it. It's wonderful and certainly an aspect I never truly experienced until we were living together.
But I don't send her those emails. Sometimes, as I write them, I relive the scene in my mind, thinking about various aspects of the scene and wanting to know how she felt about some particular part of it, discovering some aspect I couldn't see through mine own eyes.
Of course, our blog does that in many ways, but it's not the same. Thinking about it, I'm not sure why I stopped. Just because we live together doesn't mean I still can't check in. In fact, I think I'm going to post this and go do that now...