I've never been in a 24/7 kink-based relationship before. My BDSM relationship with my ex was never a fully realized thing. We had too much baggage. There were too many things that kept us both from fully allowing that to develop. With Lizzie, we have both the kink (it's nice, when the kids aren't around, to be able to randomly launch into an unexpected flurry of spanking that'll take her breath away, wherever we may be at the moment) and the D/s (a simple, stern look can do a lot in terms of communicating a message or even power exchange). Those things were well established in our relationship before love entered the picture.
But as that 24/7 lifestyle evolves, the care and nurturing that I find so integral to any good relationship is as much a part of our vanilla experience as it is a part of our lifestyle experience. [I just read that bit back to myself and I'm not even sure I'm making much sense at this point.] That's what I mean about "life is a constant state of aftercare." We owe it to our partners to continue that intimate connection far beyond the end of a scene.
In another way, sometimes, later in the night after we play, or even well into the next day, I can see that Lizzie is fragile. When we weren't together full-time it's something I wouldn't see. But being together, I notice it and I make sure to wrap my arms around her and "check in," hold her tight and let her know all is okay with the world. In that case, it usually doesn't last more than a day after a scene, that fragility, and it's not always there. But I feel better knowing I'm around to see it when it happens.
I feel I've really rambled out this particular blog post. Maybe it's the time difference (I'm in Europe on business and perhaps not entirely lucid). Maybe it's my own head trying to wrap itself around the subject I more sense than can articulate.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the above.