Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Kinky Halloween

Spanking her would be so much fun...

Alright. I admit it. I'm a geek. This could be the greatest Halloween costume ever.

Most wrong Halloween costume ever!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Inspirational Poster

A vanilla friend of mine sent this to me today. Just thought I'd share.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Jim Never Has A Second Cup At Home...

For my regular readers, you know how much I like to post silly pictures and things I find on my travels that work great for double-entendres and the like--particularly when they are nasty or fetish related. You may recall the billboard I saw in Beirut featuring a man about to get whipped by two lovely women. Or this one from London. And another, this one also in the UK.

So it should come as no surprise that on this trip I once again discovered something rather amusing. I'm in South America at the moment, waaaay down near the Equator and a group of us were enjoying cappuccinos at a cafe that featured "cappuccino art"--you know, those designs they make in the crema at the top of the cup? Well, the young man at the espresso machine made a lovely flower. I asked my female colleague to turn the cup so I could have the logo in the photo. But when I snapped the pic, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a foamy dick and balls! You don't think the barista did it on purpose, do you???

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!

Today is Love Our Lurkers Day!

Thanks to Bonnie, who started it, today is the fifth annual day in which we blogauthors, posters of porn, opiners of opinion, floggers of philosophies say THANK YOU! to all the folks too shy, too publicity concerned, too typographically challenged to leave a comment. You know--lurkers!

So...lurkers: thank you so much for continuing to read my blog. I know DARK MUSING is spotty at times. I know I go for days upon days without posting (mostly due to crazy work schedules or international travel). Sometimes I simply have nothing to say. I try to keep up with my Flash Fucktion--unique "interactive" Choose-Your-Adventure-style spanking chapter stories that can be read in a minute or two. So if you're still a regular reader...lurker or no...thanks for sticking with me. And if you're someone to shy to post: thank you truly for continuing to stick with me and read.

If you're too shy to post (or don't want any sort of limelight) you can always, always, always email me at: to make comments. I'll gladly paraphrase and mention the comment on the blog to keep you truly anonymous, or if you'd just like to share your thoughts with me and no one else, that's cool too.

Again, THANK YOU! I'm not writing this to simply practice my typing skills. Hopefully I'm lending a unique voice in the BDSM/spanking world to lend a top's perspective on how we see scenes and play, hopefully entertain you a bit and give me a soapbox to air my frustrations, loves, strange things I see around the world and just, you know, talking about kinky fetish shit.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Flash Fucktion - Tropical Torment: Part 5

(Okay, honestly? I didn't realize it had been since August 26 since I'd put in a chapter to this Flash Fucktion. I'm a little cheesed at myself it's been this long, but I gotta you friends that I have just been crazy busy with stuff at work, stuff at home, business travel... It's been a little nuts and leaves me very little time to think about other stuff, let alone write some wanko spanko fiction. If you want to catch up, we left off on Part 4, Marcus was starting to paddle Jennifer's bottom with an iced metal paddle.

Also, if you haven't been following along, I've made the story interactive, polling you friends to vote on what happens next, a bit like those old "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" stories--only with spanking and figging and things. I don't seem to remember that happening in those Dungeons & Dragons choose-your-own-adventure paperbacks I used to have as a kid. The winning vote for this chapter? "Strap her firm bottom" edged out "Get out the Ben Gay.")

Marcus paddled her bottom with the long aluminum paddle, lined with holes. He'd kept the paddle in an ice bucket all afternoon as he (and it) waited for Jennifer to arrive to the beachside bungalow. Pulling the paddle from the ice bucket the metal had grown so cold that shards of ice clung to it. Marcus imagined the metal would react this way to the cold and he had envisioned not cleaning off the ice, so when he grabbed the paddle and saw it this way it made him smile sadistically. Without wiping it off, he went to the bed, swung the paddle through the air and struck Jennifer soundly on the bottom. It connected hard. Chips of ice flew off the paddle and skittered off Jennifer's naked body. Between the connection of the paddle and the icy hot nature of the metal, her bottom felt like it was burning, the pieces of ice feeling like pinpricks on her warm skin. Ice tick-tick-ticked on the walls, some dropping onto the bed to melt unnoticed in the tropical air. Marcus held he paddle there for a moment, allowing the cold to sear into her skin.

"Oh my GOD!" Jennifer screamed.

"Shhhh," Marcus said, pulling the paddle away and looking at the long red mark across both her cheeks. He did not rub it out. He didn't want to warm her skin. "Only nine more."

"NINE?!" Jennifer spun to look at him, her eyes full of alarm.

"Yes. Relax. It's only frozen water."

Before she could react or respond, he smacked her again, full-on. The paddle made an odd hum sound with each blow, a sort of kinky tuning fork. Bits of ice clung to her bottom, melting slowly, dripping down each leg. One bit clung between in her crack, the icy water dripping down to her anus where it mingled with the remnants of the ginger, creating even more sensation.

He swung again. And again. Slowly, the paddle warmed up as Jennifer's buttocks became more acclimated to the cold. Marcus varied the intensity a bit, but it was harsh. Very harsh. Droplets of water splattered onto Jennifer's body as the paddle warmed. "Ten!" Marcus announced.

"That was nine," Jennifer corrected, her voice barely a whisper.


"That was only nine, Marcus."

"Fuck! I was done!"

"I was counting--in case you asked."

"You don't get a tenth one, girl. This was going to be the last bit before I took care of you, but now you've really pissed me off." She looked up at him, eyes searching his face. She caught the curl of a sly grin on the edge of his mouth.

He untied her arms, helping up into a doggie-style position. "Present!" Marcus ordered, and Jennifer arched her back and raised her bottom into the air. Marcus ripped his belt off and Jennifer got a shiver when she heard the leather flack, flack, flack, flack of his belt as it pulled through the belt loops. He looped the belt in his hand and without pause or warning proceeded to strap her bottom with great, wide arcs of his arm, landing almost in the exact same spot every time, right across the red marks from the icy metal paddle.

Jennifer began to squirm as the pain increased, but Marcus didn't let up. She got to the breaking point and he stopped mid-stroke, dropping the belt suddenly to the floor and finishing his swing with his hand, his palm smacking her flesh in a quick switch-up that surprised Jennifer. He then leaned in and gently rubbed, warming her skin.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What's with the LA Spanking Scene?

Every major metropolitan city (well, I know that's an overstatement but who cares?) has an active spanking scene. Except LA. You'd think being on the "left coast" with our granola-crunching, filling-the-jacuzzi-with-Perrier-and-bobbing-for-Ecstacy selves so open to new things and all kinds of seemingly rational weirdness that there would be an active spanking scene here. But there really isn't.

There's been pockets of a spanking scene: a small bedroom group in the O.C., another home-based group in Hollywood--now defunct. What gives? I have a hunch if some organized person (like those who run SSNY, SL, others) rose up in Los Angeles and said, "I'm a spanko and I'm looking to see who else wants to join me!" there'd be a loud shout on FL and elsewhere saying, "I'm interested in a group like that. I want to participate!"

In the meantime, I remain perplexed...

Monday, October 11, 2010

I've got nothin...

I'm sorry folks. I've got nothin'. I'm sooo busy at work, traveling, barely keeping my head above water. So, needless to say, I've got nothin'. I don't know why. No philosophy. No funny comments. No double-entendre photos. Nothin'. I'm going to work on the next chapter of the Flash Fucktion, but by now you must be ready to give up. I don't blame you. I only hope you don't. I'll have something to say...eventually.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Kinky, Kinky HBO

I have HBO but I haven't seen Bored to Death, Ted Danson's new comedy on the cable network. Looks like their upcoming ep is going to be very interesting.

I was flying from Nashville recently and Mr. Danson was in first class, attempting to figure out where to plug the headphones into his brand spanking new iPad. "They go in there," I said, pointing as I walked back to my seats next to the shitter.

Oh, on a side note, if you have HBO, check out Eastbound & Down, one of the funniest shows on television today.