Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tropical Beach Party: On the Road Again...

Well, it's been almost a year, believe it or not, and I'm on my way to Tampa Thursday. But I can't just pack for a few days, because depending on confirmation of some work stuff, I could be on my way to Europe, the Middle East, back to Europe and then home again--all which makes packing really challenging.

Okay, let's see:
  • Underwear
  • Shorts
  • Shirts
  • Dopp bag
  • Paddle
  • Crop
  • Wartenberg Wheel
  • Business Suit
  • Tie
  • Dress Shoes
  • Umbrella
You can see why I'm having trouble with this.

I'll pack one bag for FMS, one for the next two weeks and see what happens. Maybe I'll come home from Tampa next Monday, maybe off to Europe. Crazy.

In the mean time, I'm looking forward to hanging out with friends, getting some lovely ladies over my lap and relaxing.

Look for my typical party reports, coming soon!

(About the image: I was hoping to find something vintage and cool on a beach. That was as close as I got.)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

An Equine Story

In commenting back and forth with a reader about a horse supply shop in London (tack store? I'm not a horse person) it reminded me of a story from a few years ago.

I work near one of the largest equestrian complexes in Los Angeles. There are so many horses and riders near my office they have buttons for the pedestrian crossing on the light pole about eight feet up so riders can press the button.

I thought I'd go into one of the tack shops to check out crops and what-not. There are two big ones just outside the equestrian center. So I went in, me, the city-slicker in my work clothes, and started looking at crops and bats and things I don't even know the word for. The minute I started looking an employee was on me, asking questions. They were instantly suspicious. I knew I couldn't pretend I was a horse person when she asked what I was looking for. So I did what any self-respecting kinkster not out of the closet would do: I lied.

I told her (since I was in Burbank and a mile from at least four different studios) that I was shopping for props, I was sent on this errand and I had no idea what I was looking for. The employee continued to eye me suspiciously as I picked up crops and things. She went to the cash register and told a guy in plaid shirt, jeans and cowboy boots something and soon he was hanging around the aisles near me, watching.

Finally, they achieved their goal. I got too self conscious to continue looking. I decided I couldn't actually purchase anything at that point (does that make me a pussy?) and I left, heading next door to the other store. But when I got there I was convinced the folks at the first tack shop had phoned ahead and there were three people there (two I think weren't employees but customers hanging out at the shop). "The outsider" was here. And I went in and looked at the crops and whips, the eyes burning into the back of my neck. 

I had been warned to be careful in tack shops, that those in the cities were onto us kinksters. I felt like the 1,387th kinkster to come in, nose around the implements and pretend I had other reasons to be there. I felt like they really wanted me outta there, so rather than waste any more time, I split, angry at myself that I was intimidated by these horse people. But I consoled myself by going onto Extreme Restraints, JT Stockroom and even a few equestrian/tack supply shops and buying some authentic horse goods to make up for it.

That was two years ago. And I haven't been back. 

Photo Credit: Lizzie (who stopped in a farm supply shop this weekend)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Questionable Pub Names

If you're a regular follower of my blog you'll know I like to post interesting things I see that are somewhat lifestyle-ish (like this and this).  Last night, while wandering down toward Oxford Circus in London I came across this pub. I went in, hoping for something interesting, but alas, it was just a pub.

I asked about the name and the barkeep didn't quite see the irony. Oh well...

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

In London with the President: A Vanilla Report

The corner of Hyde Park is right across the street from my hotel, so rather than run the treadmill in the dreary fitness center this evening like I did last night, I decided to go run Hyde Park. The weather's absolutely amazing right now and it's nice to get out and see the sights. 

So I ran the six mile loop around the park and as I did so began to hear helicopters overhead. Soon, I saw a bunch of motorcycle cops driving past, and then I realized what was about to happen. Obama is in town and had dinner last night with the Queen and spoke today to both Houses. It's been all the news has been talking about here. Well, guess what? His motorcade drove right past, secret service Suburbans and the President's Stretch Cadillac (all travel with Air Force One in a military cargo jet--well, the limo has a "garage" in the back of Air Force One). Pretty cool!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Brittanic Honeymoon: Collaborative Fiction Part 8

Alec carried Kelsey over the threshold again, careful not to bang her head into the narrow doorway this time. “You did it!” Kelsey teased. Alec playfully frowned at her and dropped her unceremoniously on the bed. “Hey!”

“You deserve it!” Alec began loosening the collar on his costume.

“I want to do that,” Kelsey said.

“Why don’t you freshen up and I’ll get the room just so?”

“Okay…” Kelsey pretend pouted at not getting her way and went into the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door was closed, Alec began frantically tearing around the room, pulling out a package that had been delivered to their cabin and secreted away at his direction. He grabbed the remote for The Wall and entered a password to connect to the cloud, opened the small closet to remove another package from his bag and opened the door just as the steward arrived with floor-standing ice bucket with a bottle of Dom, two champagne flutes and a plate of perfect organic strawberries. He rushed around, nearly breaking into a sweat, and dashed onto the bed, still in costume, and lounged their casually as if he’d been there for minutes, before Kelsey came out.

When she opened the door she squealed in surprise. The room was darkened and Alec had set out LED candles around the cabin—dozens of them (no open flame in the highly oxygenated environment). The Wall was playing the 3D footage from their wedding reception—well-wishers giving their best sendoffs to Kelsey and Alec, some with rather ribald comments. There were artificial rose pedals all over the cabin floor.

“Wait…I was only in there for like five minutes!” Kelsey said, hands on hips. She stood there in the doorway in a sexy negligee, still wearing the belt from earlier.

“Hmm? What’s that?” Alec overacted his nonchalance. Kelsey jumped on the bed, kissing his face. “Want some champagne?”

“No, I want you.”

“Oh, my.” She grabbed at Alec’s wrists, knowing he would have kept the belt’s key on a thin wrist bracelet he wore for such matters. She saw the bracelet, but didn’t go for the key. It wasn’t her place.

But Kelsey got distracted by the images on The Wall. “Wasn’t it a great reception? We had so many friends there!”

“Yeah, it was pretty amazing,” Alec said. “I’m glad we splurged for that telepresence wall and T5 so all our friends from out of town and offplanet could be there, too.” He began kissing her then, rather insistently.

“Yeah…” Kelsey was wistful, keeping an eye on The Wall as Alec kissed her neck, making her breathe heavier, but she still watched the screen.

“You enjoying that?” Alex propped his head up with a hand, looking at her. He had stopped kissing her a minute or two before he’d spoke. Kelsey had a smile on her face, reliving the memories of the reception they’d had only a dozen hours earlier.

“Yeah…” she said again, not looking at him.

“Kelsey?” She continued to giggle at the silly comments people were making at the 3D camera. Right now, Kelsey’s Uncle Earl’s face filled the screen, his bulbous nose jutting out toward them and he was saying something about “…discovering the mysteries of space Kama Sutra” and winking wildly.

“Good grief!” Kelsey covered her face at her Uncle’s words, blushing furiously.

“Kelsey.” The next person came on the screen, the ring bearer at the wedding, Kelsey’s niece.  “Kelsey!”

She turned toward him, eyes wide with innocence. “Hmmm?”

“You enjoying yourself there?” He grabbed her hand and put it between his legs, so she could feel him.

“Oh. Uh, yeah.” She rubbed him then. “Well, you’re the one who put on the damn video! Distracting me and all!”

“Okay, I hadn’t planned on this at all, but…” He got up on all fours and manhandled her over onto her belly, spinning her around on the bed so she was pointed toward the foot of the bed. “Go ahead! Watch your video! It’s not like it’s our honeymoon! Or you were there or anything!” And he began to swat her through her sexy nightgown.

“Hey! Ow! What’s that for?” Kelsey squirmed on the bed, but Alec was above her and pinned her down, swatting her bottom again and again, finally pulling the lacy sheer fabric away to get at the bare flesh of her round and sexy bottom. “Okay, okay! Turn off that damn Wall then!”

Florida Moonshine's Tropical Beach Party! Get your Ass to Tampa!

Having been to three FMS beach parties I can tell you this is going to be a blast. I'm talking up the party on my blog because last year Tony announced it was the last FMS beach party, but the gang in FL have pulled it together amazingly and are doing it again. Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of people out there confused as to what's going on with the beach party, so I'm here to say: it's on!

There's the vendor fair, ice breaker games and a midnight pizza party on Friday.

They've got "Are You Smarter Than a Top?" on Saturday, the Governess Gala, poolside ice cream social and then the Banquet (and, of course, suite parties!).

Sunday is Corporal Punishment Court with Strict Dave--always a blast! 

In between there's food, fun and of couse, spanking.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Two Fucking Years!

While at SSNY’s Boardwalk Badness Weekend last weekend in Atlantic City I was talking to friends between events at the party and Lizzie says to me, “You know we’ve known each other for more than two years?” What? Two years? Two fucking years??? She was right. Gia and I had gone to our first spanking party at Shadow Lane’s event in March of 2009, right around St. Patrick’s Day (I remember those green wood spanking rods that were handed out).


More than two years since our first spanking party. That meant three Shadow Lanes, two Boardwalk Badness Weekends and two Florida Moonshine Beach Parties—a total of seven parties—in two years! And that meant we’d been friends with Erica & John, Danny, Jada, Lizzie, Michael & Kate, HL & Sass, Dave & Stacy, Brad and so many others for two years.

Damn, times flies.

Hey, friends! Thank you all for accepting me so openly into your group(s). I can’t speak for Gia, but it’s been an amazing journey thusfar as I went from skittish, uncertain and nervous first-timer to a more confident player (of course, training my hand on a cinder block didn’t hurt either!).

The scene has done much more than given me the opportunity to play. The unintended benefits of being in the lifestyle and going to the parties in particular have been extraordinary for me. I’ve gained an incredible amount of self confidence (up from just about zero) in myself (not just as a player but as a person). I’ve made some excellent friendships and truly amazing relationships with people I wouldn’t trade for the world. That alone has been astonishing and unexpected. I’ve learned more about me in terms of coming to grips with my sadism, what I need in terms of my own growth as well as looking after myself more.

You, my friends, have helped so much with this. Your gifts, intentional or otherwise, have been extraordinary. I can’t imagine where this journey will lead me next, but I’m certain the next chapter will be intense, exciting, eye opening and transformative.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Brittanic Honeymoon: Collaborative Fiction Part 7

Part 7 of the collaborative spanking fiction story Brittanic Honeymoon was posted Monday on Lizzie's blog and can be read here. Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

SSNY Boardwalk Badness Weekend Trip Report: Part 2

Saturday morning arrived far too quickly and soon everyone was downstairs for the Reformatory. A lot of fun, that, complete with fantastic and hilarious videos to augment the bad reformatory student discipline on stage.
Jada, Lizzie and I had planned—as far back as June of 2010—a roleplay scene themed to a popular intellectual property, complete with authentic costumes. The girls spent months assembling authentic bits and pieces of their ensembles. We showed up at the Reformatory in costume, to the bemusement and perplexed looks of some (even though the ladies could have fit into the school scene to some degree). After, we went up to their room and did our roleplay, complete with pervertables, props and home-cut switches. The scene was a hell of a lot of fun and I hope lived up to the expectations, hard work and time everyone put into it.
We changed, Yelped a great Mexican restaurant down the Boardwalk a ways and enjoyed some truly excellent food, a surprise to this Los Angelino considering we were in Atlantic City. Hilariously, we got our first glimpses of the Royal Wedding on a Spanish language TV program. I realized you don’t need English to understand a wedding.
I was so wiped from the first two nights I ended up taking a nap, something I never do. It’s either a sign of age or a sign I was exhausted. After, I felt like my head was filled with spun glass, Reason #1 for me to pass on napping in the first place. Got ready and headed up to the dinner and Talent Show.
Dinner took a bit longer than one would care to wait for, serving from a short buffet line a table at a time, diners and catering staff whisking food and empty trays down the same narrow hallway. A bit disorganized on the hotel’s part. The food was themed: A Taste of the Boardwalk. But the good stuff—the lobster rolls—seemed to disappear early and never was replenished!
Then came the talent show.  Obviously I’ve already commented on it here.  There were great acts, good acts and a few borderline. In the end, a wonderful young lady I’m happy to have met named Artams (sp?) did a fantastic lifestyle standup comedy routine. Unlike amateur standup comedians at open mic night she took to the stage and owned it, full of bravado and confidence, just as you expect from a total pro. Her routine was great and in the end it won her the award (a half-off ticket to next year’s party!). Joe and Groovyj did great songs—much better than I did! But in the end, Artams really pulled it off. The show was awesome.
Got to spank Jada, Alona, Sarah Rocks and Lizzie in the little spanking booths on the main floor of the ballroom.  Later, went up to the suite parties and hung out, played a bit and then the exhaustion hit me…hard. It was late and I turned in, crashing completely. But what a great day and night!
Why was it getting up each morning got harder and harder? Sunday is always the worst. Party organizers should always set up these “morning” sessions around noontime, no sooner. Pay attention FMS, SL and SSNY! Don’t make me get up!
Of course, as seems to be the New Tradition, the day started off with Strict Dave’s Court, replete with judge’s robes and gavel. As always, people could bring up others on charges and Judge Dave would exact his jurisprudence and punishment appropriately. Frivolous charges could result in their own punishments and bottoms got whacked on the “stand” and tops would be sentenced to personal service. There were a dozen or so cases, each hilarious with Dave taking matters very, very “seriously” with plenty of retribution and punishment.
Afterword we were famished and took the Boardwalk to find a place to eat, somehow ending up at the kitschy ersatz jungle of the Rainforest Café. Still not sure how that happened but the food was good (albeit overpriced).
After lunch we went back to the hotel and I had a long and varied scene with Jada, pulling out most my implements—paddles, devil’s tail, canes, straps and sensation implements—for the scene. I brought a fairly new-ish flogger and ended up with little bits of black suede “shrapnel” all over the white linens and managed a pretty nasty blister on my middle finger from the knob on the handle. It was a very good scene.
Lizzie came back later and we ended up relaxing in their room, just crashed and talking. I’m not sure what happened next, but I found myself in a rather interesting position—wresting Lizzie on the bed in an all-out tangle of bodies. Nothing naughty or weird, purely a physical wresting match. I turned it into a game: attempting to spank her bottom 10 times before stopping.  We’d never done this before and me, being mostly an only child; I’d never wrestled with siblings or friends. This was odd and new and…fun! Lizzie and I were laughing hysterically throughout, breathing heavy and sweating.  Learning as I went, I had her head down off the bed, bottom and legs up on it and finally got my swats in.  We crumbled in a heap, panting and laughing.
“Oh my god! That was so fun!” I said, incredulous. I’d barely caught my breath and I soon found myself doing the same with Jada! I had no idea they liked wresting and I certainly had no idea I did, too. That “scene” was awesome. Pure, unadulterated (in every meaning of the word), innocent (except for the spanking part) fun.
I checked email on my phone and saw a news alert from CNN: Osama bin Lauden had been found and killed. We groped for the remote, turned the TV on and watched the story unfold as our fellow party-goers took to the Atlantic on a sunset cruise.
Eventually the cruisers returned and we met up with Gia and others in Michael & Kate’s suite where I had a great spanking with Lori and Kate (not together, mind you).  The night growing long, Lizzie and I had one last intense and harsh scene where many marks were made. It was hard but short.  Lizzie was spent, Jada returned to their room and I put them to bed, then headed off to see Beth and talk about the weekend for a while before finally turning in about 3 am, utterly exhausted once again.
The day we return home is always depressing. The party over, no time for another scene, it’s all business: packing, paying hotel bills, saying goodbyes. In the lobby we ran into Michael & Kate once more, said farewells and did the same to Richard Windsor and a few others. Our transporation arrived and Gia, Jada and Lizzie and I headed off to Philly airport and home. Gia took a separate airline from me, having come out early to hang out with her “sister” Diane from Florida for a few days before the official start of the party, so we didn’t have our typical decompression time and catch-up time and before we knew it we were home, back our regular lives, our busy party weekend with our scenes, play, partners and activities over.
There’s nothing like being able to share time with friends, meet new ones and enjoy the feeling and weight of a beautiful young lady over your lap, hand on the small of the back, the other connecting sharply on the soft but firm cheek of a hot young thing. It gets my ticker beating faster just thinking about it.
To the ladies that gave me the honor of falling across my lap, thank you! Literally everyone I played with this weekend were friends that I share a connection with. I always appreciate your trust, your appreciation of me (and my hand!) and the time (however brief it might be) we have together.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Apologies, Everyone!

I've been traveling in the Middle East for the last five days and they block "adult" content where I was. So needless to say, I didn't get Part Two of my SSNY BBW Party Report online. Frustrating. Nor did I get comments back to all of you who've posted. Humble apologies for the stick up their asses. Anyway, on layover in Amsterdam now. And they don't give a shit. So I'll get Part Two up later today or tomorrow from the UK.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Caption the Photo Contest!

I keep trying to come up with ideas for repeatable "features" on the blog. Here's one that came to me today: You Caption the Photo!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

SSNY Boardwalk Badness Weekend Trip Report: Part 1

Normally I do a day-by-day trip report, but this time I think I’m going to summarize and give the highlights in this multipart report from Strictly Spanking New York’s Boardwalk Badness Weekend Report.

Overall, it was an amazing party. Though I didn’t get an official count, I heard there were 250 people present. This group was great and very diverse—younger players, people from near and far (UK and Ireland!), newcomers and seasoned vets. Of course, the whole thing was organized and run extraordinarily well by the good folks at SSNY, Miranda, Jules and Coach Tanner (and a bevy of other important organizers, assistants and volunteers).
The venue was the same as last year’s inaugural fest, The Chelsea hotel just off the Boardwalk, a hip and trendy retro facility with steakhouse, flashback coffee shop and best of all, no casino and thus, no smoking!
Thursday started off very frustrating. My alarm annoyed me awake at 3 am PDT to get ready for my 6:30 am flight out of LAX. As I brushed my teeth I looked over email on my phone and saw Delta had alerted me to a 2 hour and 15 minute delay on my flight from my layover in Minneapolis into Philadelphia.  
In Minneapolis that delay grew to over three hours, weather-related from the huge tornado and severe weather system the day before.  So I got into Philly late and even later into Atlantic City. By then, it was almost 11 pm, the early registration over. People were meeting up in the bar, but all I wanted to do was get something to eat! Lizzie and I met up and went to a very late dinner. If it was any other city but one filled with casinos we probably wouldn’t have had any luck finding a place to eat.
Afterward, each one of us on an earlier time zone than Eastern, we went back to the hotel, played a bit.  I ended my long day hanging out with Beth for a while, enjoying hanging out and relaxing. It was good to see her out of our usual context of the Lair. Finally completely beat and up for almost 24 hours straight I disappeared to my room, utterly exhausted.
Friday morning began late—slept in. Jada arrived from her red-eye and together she, Lizzie and I went to breakfast where we ran into many from the party.  We went on a long walk in the sunshine on the Boardwalk and I returned to go on an afternoon run down the Boardwalk, a real treat. I gave Jada her first spanking of the weekend—a warm up to get her ready for suite party play later in the evening. After dinner, it was off to the vendor fair (which included dinner) where there were mixer games, raffles, and other activities. Also found some a nice selection of implements, including a lauded-over table of The London Tanner’s fine wares. By the time I got to the table things were slim pickin’s unfortunately. It was great to catch up with friends I’ve grown to truly appreciate in the two years we’ve been attending parties—HL & Sass, Strict Dave & Stacy, Michael & Diane, Richard Windsor, Rad & Sandy, Zelle and so many others I can’t think of ‘em all.
After the vendor fair we went up to the suites, which were brimming with people. I went off to play with Jada, then Lizzie, each with fun and enjoyable scenes. I hung out with Beth for a bit and we chatted some more. Up late once again, it was off to bed around 3 am…

Monday, May 2, 2011

SSNY's Boardwalk Badness Talent Show Report

(NOTE: My trip report from BBW will be up tonight or tomorrow. In the mean time...)

Really, this post has fuck all to do with spanking and kink, but I thought it was a fun thing to share nonetheless...

As you may recall from last year I signed up for the Karaoke night at SSNY. I did a current rock song that was popular at the time, a great track called Dancer by The Killers. Joe sang New York, New York (at least I think it was that) and won. In my opinion, he was a better singer than me, but I think he also won because everyone there knew Sinatra and couldn't relate to The Killers.

Being rather competitive, I thought I'd try to do better this year. I researched "Top Karaoke Songs" and came up with a list of a dozen or so songs that I thought were in my wheelhouse, so to speak. I bought the karaoke tracks off iTunes, printed out the lyrics and tried them out. I looked for rousing, popular songs with no instrumental sections (good lord, don't wanna watch me dance!), short length and fast pace.

My shortlist?
  • Papa Loved Mama by Garth Brooks (too long of an instrumental--bad for karaoke if you're white and can't dance
  • Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks (too wide of an octave range)
  • I'm a Believer (good rousing tune people can tap their foot to)
  • Keep Feeling Fascination by Human League (oops--there's big girl's part in there)
  • Don't Stand So Close to Me by Sting and/or The Police (apropos, plus bonus points because in the music video from the 80s Sting dresses like an English schoolteacher and waves around an old wicker rug beater--in the end, I couldn't "find" the melody for the chorus which is all harmony and no melody line--I even listened to the live version to try to find it)
  • Rock n Roll High School by The Ramones (fun song, apropos, but no real chops necessary)
  • Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears (too much false setto)
  • Cruel to Be Kind by Nick Lowe (apropos, in my range and fun--but a long instrumental again, a bit repetitive and kinda monotonastic, if that's a word)
  • What I Like About You by The Romantics (all repetition)
  • Video Killed The Radio Star by the Buggles (long, lame, complicated)
In the end, it boiled down to Cruel to Be Kind, Don't Stand So Close to Me, and I'm a Believer. Going into the recording studio at the office, I took the karaoke tracks and laid down my own vocals on top, listened to them, then chose I'm a Believer(Hey, you want to hear the track as I did it in the studio? Email me and I'll be delighted to send it to you!)

At the party, it came time for me to do my number. I got up on stage, the iPod kicked in and the song began. I barely got through the very short first verse and into the even shorter chorus when judge Richard Windsor (playing the Simon Cowell role along with Miranda as a sedated Paula Abdul and Miss Chriss as a constantly "dawg"-ing Randy Jackson) began to make stinky faces. By the start of the second verse I was getting distracted by Richard/Simon making a move toward the gong (what fucked up American Idol-meets-The Gong Show this talent show was, I'll never know!) and I know I started to go a little flat. 

I got gonged.

Richard/Simon felt, after last year's knock-it-out-of-the-park cover of The Killer's Human that my choice of bubble gum pop The Monkees (or Smashmouth as someone younger behind the judges shouted out) was too lame and beneath me.

It was all in good fun. A talent show needs a few gongs for entertainment value. I wasn't the best act, no doubt. In the end, it was a hoot and I look forward to belting out something more to Richard's/Simon's tastes next year... Perhaps Cee Lo's Fuck You?