Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mainstream Kink

Every time a TV show or movie has a spanking scene in it there's this wave of blog posting on the kinkosphere about how so-and-so got spanked on such-and-such a show. Big whoop. Sure, we can all get our kicks watching Weeds or old John Wayne westerns, but me, I'll take FX's brand-new and well-reviewed series, American Horror Story. This "psychosexual thriller" from the creators of Nip/Tuck is one scary, kinky TV show. 

A husband and wife and their despondent cutter-teen daughter move into one of the (if not the) creepiest haunted houses ever presented on television. The shit that goes down here makes Addams Family or The Munsters look like a Disney cartoon. The husband has had an affair and his wife is, understandably, distant. He's wracked with guilt but feels she's "punished" him for his transgression long enough. They reconcile. SPOILERS! The house helps...

Later, this man, enshrouded in latex, comes in to their bedroom. She thinks it's her husband, but he's preoccupied in another room of this dastardly house. The two have sex--she thinking it's her husband. As viewers, we haven't a clue who the dude in the latex is, but he knocks her up and the couple, slowly falling back in love with one another, each believe he (the husband) did it, for different reasons of course. 

American Horror Story is kinky, creepy, downright scary TV. Don't worry if you've missed any. You can watch full episodes on FX's website. Right now. Spanking is fun, but scary kink is hot.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Just too damn busy...

After being out of town on business for two and a half weeks I got back the middle part of last week. Then, it was catching up at work, catching up at home, dealing with family chores and errands all weekend (as well as catching up with the kids!) and then all this week has been work, work, work as it's busier than ever.

Suffice it to say, all reasons why you haven't seen a post since the middle of last week. I'll be inspired again soon. Just hunkered down at the moment...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I want THE COCK!

More amusing UK stories...

Directly across the roundabout from my apartment is a lovely old pub/restaurant. What's it called?

Worse, the formal title of this humble establishment is The Cock Inn. So while I was walking around town over the weekend I went over and looked at the menu, decided this would be a good place for dinner, and then at work Monday told my compatriots from America all working over here with me that it was "...time to enjoy The Cock!" Everyone got a chuckle and soon we were all in on the joke (some more than others).

"I can't wait to get to The Cock!"

"How far is The Cock Inn?"

"I'm hungry for The Cock!"

"I never thought I'd say this, but I want The Cock!" (a hetero male)

"Can I please have The Cock now?"

It went on like this--soooo junior high--off and on for about two hours. Of course, if you know me, you'll know I was chuckling and loving every minute. Oh, and the food was pretty darn good, meaning I'll be enjoying The Cock for many nights to come.

On another note, I went for a run Saturday through the local countryside and came upon this old house that had been converted into a music venue...I think:

Kink. 24/7. In the words of Tina Fey's character on 30 Rock, "I want to go to there."

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Hey England! What's with the English?

(WARNING: This blog post has nothing to do with kink. So if you have a one-track mind [like I do] I suggest you skip this entry.)

I've been an anglophile ever since I was about 17 years old watching An American Werewolf in London. I went to the UK for the first time when I was 19. Since then I've gone on vacation here a few times and have come to the UK for business probably 20 times or more over the past 20+ years.

So when my company got a project here, I was thrilled. My job is barely "work" as it is (I love what I do!) but to do it in London? Heaven.

I've been struck this trip about the huge, Atlantic Ocean-sized gap between English and English (that is, the Queen's English and American English) is utterly ridiculous. I try to post funny photos of things that are strike me hilarious, mostly very junior high sort of things.

For example, just in this blog post so far I've referenced a simple difference: vacation versus holiday. I'm staying in an apartment on this extended trip. Here it's a flat. These are easy ones. The harder ones are the less obvious: "schedule" is not an organization of dates put in order or a list of activities one has in a day. A calendar is a diary. A diary is a journal. WTF? 

At dinner last night the bottom of the menu had four words strung together (I don't remember what they were now, which is a bit like telling a joke and forgetting the punchline) that when I read them made utterly no sense. It was as if someone had pulled them out of an English grab bag and plopped them onto a menu at random. It was something like: Bubbly Spec Tiny Champers. (Any Brits who read my blog will know that isn't a real anything, but it's as close as I can get get to recalling what it actually said.) Fortunately, I was at dinner with some locals and, perplexed, I asked them what it meant. "Oh, cheap house champagne is available." WTF?

Last but certainly not least, it's nice to know that the proper English folk who invented the most widely used language on Earth can make their own mistakes once in a while. Check out this pic I snapped at dinner a few nights ago. As the old man said in one of my all-time favorite movies, A Clockwork Orange, "Try the wine?"

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A Grab Bag of Pics

First up, a photo I took at the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai at a kiosk t-shirt seller:

For a place so keen on blocking kink blogs (like this one) from the UAE, I found this t-shirt ironic.

In Spain, particularly the Catalonia region, the locals have an odd tradition of caganers. These are figures you hide away in your holiday manger scene of someone taking a shit. Don't know where the tradition came from, but it started was a monk figure, carefully secreted in the sacred manger scene. Later, political figures and celebrities (particularly those worthy of ridicule) were depicted as figurines for sale in holiday festival markets. Here's my favorite caganer. It's 30-feet tall and in a mall in Barcelona. Merry Christmas, kids! Don't forget to take a dump next to baby Jesus!

Recently Erica went on a rant again about some terrible food item for sale at Dennys, a patty melt with mac & cheese inside. So, in honor of that, here's something my daughter found recently:

Gumball donuts??? Who needs that?!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Out of Censorship and WTF?

I'm out of the UAE and so out of internet censorship filters again. Woo-hoo!

When I was over there I was talking to one my colleagues who reminded me of this site full of terrible airbrushed art from carnival rides all over the world. It's called Bad Carnival Art. You've seen the stuff if you've ever been to a fair or carnival: cheese, off-the-mark Disney characters, odd mashups of different stars (all unlicensed, of course).

I grabbed my fave:

You gotta ask yourself here: what were they thinking! Sure, it's on a spin-n-puke teen thrill ride, but WTF? Really? (Must be German...)