Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve Sexiness

She sat on the padded bench, showing off the new thigh-high black leather boots she got for Christmas. She knew what she wanted and she knew what he wanted, too. Before they were to go out, dine, dance, pop the champagne for New Year's eve, she knew she needed a spanking to get her centered, get out of her head and into the mood to celebrate. There was too much going on, too much to think about, too much to stress her out. 

She stretched out, presenting to him in her own way and he pulled out his iPhone and snapped a pic.

For now, if only for a little bit, she looked at him, bared her bottom, and said something intentionally snarky. It was time to have fun, not to think. 

Friday, December 30, 2011

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

What I DO NOT Want for Christmas!

Okay, I realize I talk about (and do) some really kinky shit, but the idea of a Miley Cyrus love doll is just plan squick-y. Sure, she's of legal age, but something about this is just wrong, wrong, wrong. After all, part of it's the packaging: "She's Young, Dumb and Old Enough for Cum!" Really??? Or how about: "Daddy's Little Stoner is Ready for U To Bone Her!" It sounds like the kind of copy that only appears in a posting on Erica's Communication Hall of Shame. 

The manufacturer claims this is one in their Superstar Series, but in further research I could not discover another in the series. Please note: this isn't even a very good "look-alike" on the packaging...

But, for $18.99 on Amazon (and it qualifies for Prime shipping!) you too can get "three achy love holes"!

Sheesh, people. 

Monday, December 26, 2011

An Amazingly Hot Photo Series

Melissa got home from the shoot, ready to please her Mistress. She quickly changed, 


Saturday, December 24, 2011

You Don't Have to Go to Thailand...

According to CNN, women can have their faces and breasts slapped in Thailand in order to make them firmer and larger (faces firmer, breasts larger--just to be clear). Now this is legit, at least in a country where you can get a sex change for about 500 smackers. You can check out the article by clicking on the pic below.

Just to be clear, if you want to have your face or tits slapped, you don't need spend thousands of dollars in airfare. Just come to my dungeon. I'll slap the shit out of 'em for free!

Oh, there's also video of "legit" boob slapping here.

(Special thanks to Beth for passing on this absolutely apeshit article to me!)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Master vs. Top vs. Dom

I've posted numerous times here about my personal opinions about Top versus Dom over the years. Trolling FL the other night I found this graph as someone's profile pic. After all my opining I think this just about sums it up.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part IX

Normally my topics don't stray to golden showers, but today I had to contribute to my Kinky Christmas series with this fine, fine holiday product:

By the way, I wouldn't drink anything coming from a fake penis, let alone a fake Santa's penis. I want to know why this was made, but more importantly, I want to know who buys this shit!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part VIII

I'm really enjoying these photo collections and musings under the heading, "Kinky Christmas" I've been posting. I'm having fun with it.

In light of my recent postings, Beth decided to take some particularly lovely photographs with the specific intention of enlightening my readers as to what a "Kinky Christmas" is all about. Thanks, Beth! You're hilarious and rather hot. And a good sport!

Rather talented with those nips, no?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part VII

One last ornament in my weird "Kinky Christmas" ornament series...

We shouldn't discuss this...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part VI

Some things require no explanation. Admittedly, the "Condom Santa" needed an explanation, but I didn't have one there. These...well...

Monday, December 12, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part V

Condom Santa? Condom Santa!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part IV

I was putting up Christmas lights today, standing on a ladder up at my eaves, making sure my lights were aligned with military precision. (Okay, I'm a bit OCD.) Across the street my neighbors have lemon trees lining their property (I live in an area of old orchard citrus trees from the early 20th Century).

They were laughing and picking fruit and for some reason horsing around. I didn't see it, but I guess he swatted her ass. She laughed, turned to him and said, "Please sir, may I have another!"

This caused me to chuckle from my eave. It'd been an odd day. Putting recycling from under the kitchen sink into a trash bag I was bent over plunking plastic from the bin. My teenage son and I were having a playful argument, 90% joking, when he looked at my position and said, "I'm going to give you a spanking!" I burst out laughing. Seeing my reaction, he did too. "Yeah, that was a little weird."

See what I mean? An odd day...

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Kinky Christmas, Part III

Lizzie sent me this blog about the tackiest nativities ever. Mostly it was like Hello Kitty nativities and cheesy crap like that. But one of the entires, both the weirdest and likely the most offensive (even to an atheist like me) was the above. WTF? Who would put this on their lawn???

Man I love the holidays! So much kinky blog fodder!

Monday, December 5, 2011

A Kinky Christmas

I love the Christmas Season in London. One of my favorite things to do is to see the big department stores and their amazing window displays. Making the rounds on Saturday I went down Oxford and Regents Street. There, at one of the grandest, oldest department stores, Liberty, and there I saw something rather unexpected: one of the high fashion mannequins in the window was set up in a BDSM tableaux.

Happy Christmas kiddies!

Oh, and thanks to Chross for another Chross-ing on Friday to my post about kinky Xmas ornaments!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

More Erotic Food

You know, if you're a regular reader, I've started my own meme with erotic food. I even, jokingly, started a blog for it called Kinky Foods.

Well, thanks to the Ecce Spanko blog for this recent posting...

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Have a Kinky Holiday

In honor of December 1, the OFFICIAL start of the Holiday Season (as opposed to what Wal-Mart, Target and Best Buy think), I present to you the first of many holiday treats.

I think this ornament speaks for itself.