Friday, February 24, 2012

Oh, the things you find on Amazon...

First off, this isn't April 1 so the idea of joke items for sale on Amazon doesn't seem plausible (and is against their policy), but a 55-gallon drum of water-based lube is nothing short of (in the worlds of the late, great John Wayne) re-goddam-diculous. What is this used for? It's not veterinary or medical because it's called "PASSION." So one can only assume two possible buyers for this $1,500 product (you save: $1,255!): a major porn title producer (Anal Rapist 17, anyone?) or a large brothel. Either way, ewww!

What's funnier than the product listing itself are the absolutely pee-worthy customer reviews and comments which absolutely, positively must be read! (Click here to go to Amazon to read.)

There's also the "Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed..." section, which includes the following curious, hilarious products: 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Exposé! I'm not a Spanko!

If you've been a reader of my blog for a while you'll already know I'm not really a spanko. I don't consider myself one, though many of my friends say I relate better to the people in the spanking community than I do to those in the BDSM. I relate better because the good folks of the spanking world are more open, friendly, communicative while in BDSM there's more stand-offishness, protocol, general skepticism (after all, you can't just jump into a BDSM scene--it could be utterly unsafe to do so. Spanking just might get you redder or frustrated if playing with a neophyte).

But I don't consider myself a spanko at all because I never grew up with the general spanking tropes roiling around in my head. I didn't fantasize about OTK. I didn't have discipline interests that seem so common to the people I talk to who came from a long-standing spanking interest (like school discipline or boss/secretary or father/child kind of things). Rulers weren't pervertable objects to me. Neither were belts (belts were just for holding one's pants up). When I saw someone getting spanked in a tv show or movie they were simply being punished, it wasn't fodder for masturbatory fantasies (or, well, just fantasies). It still surprises me when I inadvertently roll up my sleeves around someone like Lizzie and she sort of trails off with what she was saying to stare, mesmerized, as I do it. ("What?" I'll ask, then realize what she's staring at and sort of chuckle to myself.)

That being said, it's not that I don't like most of those things (though the whole age play thing still squicks me out). I love OTK, discipline, a good rough scene. Inflicting pain gets me off. Decidedly so. And spanking, as a means to do that, utterly works for me.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Talk About Pervertables

Who knew? 

(Thanks to A'marie for providing the humorous pic.)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day, Kinksters!

For all you poly kinksters of one kind or another, a Happy Valentine's Day to you (courtesy of Boing Boing).

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Environmentally Friendly Kink

I was reading about a foot pump that recharges phones, laptops, iPads, etc. and I looked at the device and thought, That's more of a pedal than a pump. And suddenly it struck me: we should have environmentally friendly kink implements. Why not a paddle that stores energy from each strike that hooks up to a USB to top up your iPhone? How about a penis pump that both masturbates and lights up a flashlight? 

I want to be greener. I want to reduce my carbon footprint. And I also want to have lots and lots of orgasms and tons of spanking! I'm loving this idea! I'll launch a line of kink-friendly products called Planetary Satisfaction or Ecojaculation or Pain-Powered Technologies? I dunno. Maybe I'm just jetlagged...

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Looking for an Explanation

Can someone please explain this to me? It was on Facebook and I just don't understand...